Hey girlies! Tonight, let’s talk about relationship readiness. The idea of being in love, going on romantic dates, exploring something new and different can be exciting- but it’s necessary to ask yourself the right questions before a relationship even begins. That’s why taking time for self-reflection before dating is essential to ensure that you are being intentional and truly ready for the journey ahead.
Here are 10 essential questions to ask yourself before getting into a relationship:
1. How Do I Handle Conflict and Communication?
- In healthy relationships, conflict will still arise, so it’s important that communication with your partner isn’t one that is toxic or vengeful.
- Do you say things you don’t mean and regret it later? Seek revenge? Yell, gaslight, manipulate, or twist things to make yourself look better?
- If so, it’s best you work on these aspects of yourself that are not conducive to a lasting, healthy relationship.
2. Am I Honest and Vulnerable?
- Honesty is crucial when it comes to building trust with your partner. So if you struggle with lying or tend to omit the truth, girl it is NOT time for a relationship.
- Your partner is someone you should have no issue opening up to and being vulnerable with; it’s one of the things that makes a relationship beautiful.
- Going into a relationship with emotional walls up- and refusing to let your guard down– will get exhausting really quickly.
3. What Are My Goals For a Relationship?
- It’s important that you are not just jumping into a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship.
- Self-reflection before dating is vital: Do you want to get married? Have kids? Build a long-term partnership? What are your relationship goals?
- Knowing what you are looking for can save you so much time and energy when it comes to dating and entering relationships.
4. Can I Support Someone Else’s Growth?
- Relationships are about giving yourself to that person and not just receiving from them.
- Can you truly support your man as he grows- whether it’s in his faith, his health, his career, or his business? He should feel like he’s got the biggest cheerleader in his corner.
- A good way to check this is by examining how you show up in your friendships. Are you encouraging, supportive, and uplifting? If not, that might be something to work on before stepping into a serious relationship.
5. Am I Actually Ready for a Relationship, or Just Lonely?
- Listen- if you and your man are together 24/7, chances are one of you isn’t busy enough.
- You are going to be alone at some point because of your daily schedules, so don’t expect a relationship to fill that void. This is a major part of relationship readiness.
- Being comfortable with yourself and enjoying your own company before entering a relationship will only make it easier when you’re actually in one.
6. Have I Healed From Past Relationships?
- Going into a relationship with baggage from your last one? No person entering your life deserves this.
- You can of course communicate the struggles from your past relationship(s) in your new one, but do not let it get in the way of this NEW relationship because he is not your ex.
- Taking time for healing from the past won’t be easy but will definitely be so worth it for your next relationship.
- If you were in a very traumatic and abusive relationship in your past, there’s a good chance you’ll never fully heal from that, but your new man should not suffer from what your old man did.
7. Do I Struggle With Trust Issues and Jealousy?
- I am a firm believer in “innocent until proven guilty.”
- Carrying jealousy or trust issues from your past relationships into a new one isn’t fair—especially if he’s never given you a reason not to trust him.
- Save yourself (and him) from unnecessary arguments over things that haven’t even happened. If trust and jealousy are struggles for you, use your time now to heal and work through them before getting into something new.
8. Why Do I Want to Be in a Relationship Right Now?
- Is your desire to be in a relationship stemming from a place of loneliness, pressure, comparing yourself to couples around you? Or- are you genuinely ready to connect, love, and be loved in return?
- Begin that self-reflection before dating routine and understand your heart’s desires to measure your relationship readiness.
9. What Are My Core Values and Non-negotiables?
- Ask yourself before entering a relationship what behaviors and values are deal-breakers to you instead of figuring them out when something goes wrong.
- This also helps whoever you are dating know what kind of person they are dealing with and be able to assess if they are a good fit rather than wasting your time.
- You’ll also have more peace and security knowing you and your partner are on the same page about the big things that can make or break relationships.
10. How Do You Manage Your Time and Priorities?
- Making time for your relationship is a given, otherwise it will not grow.
- But if your life is already hectic, your time-management skills need work, or you tend to prioritize everyone except the people who matter most, then it’s time to take a step back and assess your relationship readiness.
Being in a relationship will not always be smooth-sailing, but you can make it easier with these 10 essential questions to ask yourself before getting into a relationship.
Don’t rush yourself into a relationship that you simply aren’t ready for. Do the inner work now so that the when the right person comes along, you’ll be ready to love, and be loved the way you deserve.❤️
